Monthly Archives: January 2006

Me? Pretentious?

I have been accused of being an intellectual. By my boss. Which begs the question, since I don't know jack, how the heck can I be an intellectual? Her response? Since I don't think I know jack, I am therefore a humble intellectual.

No, it doesn't make sense to me, either.

On the other side of the coin, I have been accused of being a grammar nazi. Okay, on this point I will acquiesce. I get all wound up about grammar and punctuation. Not that I can use all of it correctly, but darn it, you should! I'm odd that way.

So am I pretentious? No, I don't think so. Not completely, anyway. When my sister shared a "romance" book with me because she thought I might like it, I felt very un-pretentious. Especially when she said she was currently reading The Complete Works of Shakespeare. Now no one past high school or, perhaps, college lit actually reads Shakespeare. Unless they are trying to look termally pretentious, that is, which was exactly what she was doing. Don't get me wrong, I like the bard. But to actually read all that old English is enough to give anyone a migraine. So I'm not pretentious.

At the same time, I value education above almost anything else. I believe a Bachelor's degree isn't worth the paper it's printed on in additional salary over a career, but got one anyway because it meant something beyond a couple of letters behind my name. It meant I was educated. I'd love to get my Masters or even my PhD for that very same reason. If I weren't run ragged by three boys, that is. See? Pretentious.

And the grammar thing: just for the record, you never make a plural by using an apostrophe, then and than have different meanings, as do there and their. And adjectives and adverbs are different, the latter generally ending in LY. I cringe everytime I see that commercial on TV where they tell me to "Think Different." Hello! DifferentLY! Gees! And I tend to be a tad free with the five-dollar words, although ask me how long it took me to spell acquiesce above before I finally had to use the spellchecker on Word.

So I can't spell, have questionable knowledge of the semi-colon and split infinitives right and left. At least I know what a split infinitive is. Now. Took me a while.

At the end of the day, when I sit on the couch with my ratty jammie pants and perfect grammar, eating nacho cheese straight out of a can while watching CSI, I can take comfort in the fact that I am not at all pretentious. I can just talk good.

Or is that well?

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