Monthly Archives: February 2006

How To Relieve The Stress Of An Office Job

Here at EDJ (Evil Day Job, for those of you non-writers out there) we order our office supplies from a catalog company that, quite frankly, is generally dirt cheap. To sweeten the deal, they occasionally offer treats and premiums when you order specific items or have an order totaling X amount of money. We've gotten everything from movies to Mrs. Field's cookies.

As I was flipping through my catalogue this morning, though, a new, fun premium jumped out at me. It seems if I buy a bunch of envelopes, I can get a vibrator.

Um, excuse me. Personal Massager.

Who am I kidding? It's a vibrator. Complete with six attachments (some of which look decidedly NOT business like– well, not our sort of business, anyway), a swivel handle and a head that adjusts to four positions.

Somehow this frightens me. Cookies I can see. Label makers, cool. Even a stuffed teddy bear here and there is a cute little extra to put in with your Post It Notes, White Out and laser printer cartridges. But a vibrator? Apparently said company thinks us office workers are a little too stressed out and need some tension relief with our envelopes.

Makes me wonder about the laptops I was looking at buying from them. Wonder what I'd get with that.


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