Monthly Archives: August 2006

Identity Crisis

So yesterday, Slate.com recognized me as a romance novelist. Not that I’m arguing here, but I don’t think I’ve ever written a romance novel. Well, there was that one pathetic attempt to write to a market during my first NaNo, but it was ill-conceived at best and utter tripe. I still have it, filed under What Not To Do. For a long time, I thought of myself as a chick lit writer. You know, that no man’s land between romance, women’s fiction and snark. I have, however, been informed that chick lit is now a dirty word. Okay. Gotcha. No chick lit. Must call it romantic comedy. But right now I’m writing mystery. So who the hell am I, anyway?

I had some trouble sleeping last night– no, not because I don’t know if I’m a mystery writer or what– and my mind got to cranking away. Not only did I figure out how to get my heroine to disable her would be killer with a refrigerator door, but I thought up a wonderful little sci fi plot.

Yeah. I write sci fi sometimes. I have even dabbled in horror and, just to prove I could write it and not blush, a little bit of smut. It was sci fi smut, by the way, and was an indulgence of my lust for Brent Spiner. But that’s another blog.

I belong to several writers’ groups, on which we prattle on and on about marketing, craft, yada yada. So I asked today: Does dabbling in multiple genres make you a stronger writer or just prove you have ADHD? The answer? Yes.

It’s always good to stretch your literary muscles, it was decided, but marketing might be interesting. It’s good that you can write to several markets, but when your sci fi fans are clamoring for another book, what will you tell your chick lit fans who are equally impatient. I’m following my bliss?

But that’s not my current problem. My current problem is finishing one mystery, polishing a partial on my last chick lit… uh… romantic comedy, and getting something freaking sold! I’ll worry about marketing when I have someone who actually wants to market anything I write.

And in the mean time, I’ll keep writing my mystery. It makes my mother happy. This is the first manuscript of mine she actually wants to read. She would be completely and utterly devastated if she knew someone on-line had called me a romance novelist. It would be tantamount to calling me a leper in her opinion. But a mystery writer, that carries some clout. As if. Trust me, Ma, I wish.

So what do I call myself? I’m a mom, a wife, and yes, a writer. I write a lot of stuff. Including and, much to your misfortune, this blog when I get to it. So that’s good enough for now. Later on, I’ll let the market decide.

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Filed under It's A Writing Life

And the World Says, “I Told You So.”

Further proof that the Boulder DA and police department are the most incompentent and wasteful law agency in the world. Okay, maybe not the whole world, but come on! Could we spend a little more money on champagne and prawns– oh, and airfare– before we decide to just let a complete nutjob go? And exactly what happened to the charges of child porn in N. California?

I’d say this is one wacko who got his 15 minutes and then some.

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Filed under And She's Opinionated Too!

Whoa, Dude! I’ve Been Quoted!

So go here to see someone call me a romance novelist. I should rant and rave more often.

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Filed under It's A Writing Life

From Metrosexual to Miami Vice

Scruff in again? Oh I don’t think so.

I am ordinarily not the Emmy watching type of girl, but I clicked into my favorite news site tonight and saw some rather disturbing pics of men at the Emmys.

They have those kinda half-beard things that Don Johnson and whatshisname used to wear during Miami Vice. You know, 5 o’clock shadow on steroids. A.K.A. ugly.

You like your man with a little scruf, you say? Okay. I can get on board with that. So if hubby wants to quit shaving, I can too? Wonder how 5 o’clock armpit shadow would go over in Hollywood.

So what the hell happened? Two years ago, guys were getting things waxed that were never meant to be, and it wasn’t unusual to see them sporting a fresh manicure. Does it have to go from one extreme to the other? I guess it’s all about the pendulum in the world of fashion. So can I be looking forward to peg legs and those cute little aligator polos coming back? That might make up for the beard burn I’m gonna get just trying to kiss my husband.

Just a word of advice to Patrick Demsey: you were so much hotter as a clean shaved geek. Get a decent razor.

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Filed under And She's Opinionated Too!

In Today’s Worst Idea Ever File

Survivor wants to pit races against one another. Races as in ethnic groups. Now I know why I don’t watch Survivor. In the mean time, NYC wants the series pulled. My opinion of NYC officials just skyrocketed.

Someday, people… yes, even ratings-hungry jackasses in LA… will get a clue and actually learn from previous mistakes. Then again, since schools across the country are starting to cut history from their curriculum in favor of other programs, maybe we won’t.

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Filed under And She's Opinionated Too!

And Every Parent in Town Takes a Deep Breath

First Day of SchoolFirst day of school. Aren’t they cute? I’m just thanking God the summer is over. These guys need to get away from one another! Yikes!

What’s really scary, though, is the stack of work on my desk. Ignore this. Or, as Son #1 would say, you didn’t see anything!

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Filed under The One Where I Waffle On About The Kids

Spoonless Soup is Good for the Environment — Unless I’m Making It

Not sure how many copyright laws I’d be breaking to mention the specific product, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I went shopping last week and was tickled to find on sale those little microwavable cups of soup that you just drink from what is essentially a can. They are terrific for the office, since we all love soup but rarely have a microwavable bowl or cup large enough to make a can of soup. And it wouldn’t require the alarming amount of plastic spoons we go through around here. Saving the environment, right? So I picked up a boatload of ’em and was very anxious to try it!

So Monday of last week, I decide to nuke myself a can of Vegetable Medley. Yum yum! Looked good, to boot. But when I read the instructions, it turned out you had to stir the sucker when it was done cooking so the temperature would be even through and through. Ah well, so much for spoon-less soup, but since I was having a yogurt, too, I didn’t feel too bad about it. I’d just use the same spoon.

Except when I stirred the soup, it totally coated the thing from top to bottom in this thick, tomato-y goop that would not get along with my yogurt. I sigh, realize I am the biggest waster in the world, and toss the spoon.

But now I have my soup cup, right? So I’m good! I take the first sip. Needs salt in a big way. So I sprinkle a little salt in there, intending to shake it up to mix it in. But the lid has a hole that is just too darned big to swirl or shake anything inside with. So I have to grab another spoon. I realize as I throw this spoon that I am a loser.

So I have my soup. And my uncontaminated yogurt. And I head back to my desk where I take a sip of my soup… which now needs pepper.

The third spoon I just kept and ate my soup with it. So much for sipping out of the blasted can.

Lesson learned? One, just buy a can of soup and make sure we have stuff available to cook it in. Two, I obsess about stupid crap. Like plastic spoons and soup in a cup. I think this is a clue that I need to get a life.

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Filed under Life? You Mean I Have To Have A Life?