There was a conversation started on a blog I frequent about age differences between romantic pairs. The conversation, I think, was actually started with the idea that an adult partner with a partner under 18 (legal or not, depending on what part of the world you’re in) is icky. It rapidly turned into a conversation about age differences even between consenting adults. I put my two cents in at that point, which is rare since I normally keep my nose clean and just stay out of it. It wasn’t long after I commented, though, that I got an email apologizing for something someone had said once upon a forgotten time that she now realized might offend me. It hadn’t, but I would have had no right to be offended because this lady had no idea what my situation was. Still, to clear up any confusion, here are a few facts about me that most likely no one will find at all interesting. Except maybe me, and that’s just because I am a narcissist.
1. My husband is 20 years older than me. No big deal to us anymore, but I will admit to being a little hesitant about it when we first got together. But since I was simply using him as a booty poodle at the time, I didn’t figure it would be a big issue. We’ve been married 12 years now and it isn’t an issue. (So much for the booty poodle idea.) For us. It is kind of fun to go apply for loans or whatnot and have people do that blink/stare thing when we share our birth-dates. And no, it does not offend me when people think that it’s weird for a couple to be so far apart in age. I know that it doesn’t work in many cases, but for us, it does. And before you start thinking I was looking for a father figure, you should ask the hubby which one of us is the large and in charge partner. Poor guy has to put up with me bossing him around all the time.
2. I have three sons, three cats and one dog. It would be three dogs, I think, but I am just not that into dogs. I tend to do things in threes, which is weird. Never planned that, but it seems to be the way things go. In fact, I planned to have two children and stop there. My third represents the limitations of modern chemistry. So apparently my life is supposed to be in threes.
And something that almost gets its own category, but doesn’t because it does not define us, is that my oldest boy is special needs. People tend to banter the word “retarded” around pretty generously these days referring to anything and everything, then they turn to me ashen like I’m going to go ballistic or something. No, that word does not offend me, either. Unless, of course, someone would turn directly to my son and say it to his face. Then I might get all Mama Bear on their buns. Semantics don’t bother me. It’s how you treat people, not what you call them, that matters to me. Lord knows I’ve never put my foot in my mouth. Ever. (For those questioning whether or not that was meant as sarcasm, it was. I have a chronic case of althete’s tongue.)
3. In a former lifetime, I was a music teacher. My friend Barb is a much more in tune with her musical roots, but I started playing violin at 5 and have a degree in music education. I am an operatically trained soprano, but can belt out Evanescence, as well. Sans obnoxious vibrato. I actually met my husband when I was in this little town of 700-ish people where I had my first teaching job. While I was certified to do so, I never taught band. I don’t understand band. I hate doing marching band charts, and refuse to transpose everything into odd intervals just to understand the difference between a clarinet and a trumpet. Not my thing. That being said, it surprised me in college that I actually have a knack for clarinet. And, to be fully truthful, since I am offering full disclosure here, I taught saxophone lessons one summer because one of my mother’s piano students asked me if I would. I need to sit my 8-year-old down soon, since he’s asking to learn piano. Which should be fun, since I don’t play piano.
4. My first novel was a Star Trek romance. I was 13 and was in love with Mr. Scott. Yeah, I always had a thing for older men, so that would explain number 1 above. I made up my own character, Aurora, who was half Vulcan and half Romulan. And this was way before Savak. She and Scotty got to have a fling, which was fun for me. I gave it to my English teacher, who loved it, and wanted to submit it to a contest. It was good enough to win, I was assured, but copyright issues disqualified it. I kept writing, doing a knock-off of ANNE OF GREEN GABLES and another based off NORTH AND SOUTH (fell in love with Patrick Swayze from the mini-series), but never finished either. Toyed with a murder mystery in college, but decided I needed to quit this silly writing crap and get serious about my life when I was about 18. Since then, I wrote on the sly, late at night, until I finally admitted that it was an addiction I wouldn’t get over and got serious about it. Here I am about four years later, still unpubbed, but a lot smarter about writing than I was when I was 13. And yes, I cried like a baby when James Doohan died.
5. I listen to NPR and read FoxNews. Talk about going to extremes, I know. I tend to take in info from both sides and then land myself somewhere in the middle. Though I still tend to call NPR National Communist Radio. They are a little far left for me. Yes, I am a registered republican (can you still admit that in America?) but vote democrat when I feel the candidate is better. In fact, I am pretty sick of party politics altogether and am tempted to change my registration to Independent. But why is it independent candidates seem to be the ones no one would want to vote for? Not all, just most. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am a protestant (liberal) republican (conservative) who married a Catholic (conservative) democrat (liberal), so we have fun with that, too. We actually come together in the middle a lot, but we get phone calls this time of year from everyone from the NRA to the NOW. The good thing is no one ever asks us to put signs in our yard, since they are sure it will lead to marital stress. If they only knew we were tempted one year to put out all the signs, just to mess with people.
But politics don’t interest me much. Still, I run to extremes in other areas of my life. My music collection has selections from Queen, Bach, Pucinni, ACDC, John Denver, and Johnny Mathis. I am currently addicted to Evanescence (not that I am spelling that right) and Frank Sinatra. My favorite movies are Rear Window, Guys and Dolls, and The Mirror Has Two Faces. My favorite singers are Barry Manilow and Freddie Mercury. I am an odd duck, for sure.
Admit it. Y’all are feeling sorry for my husband now, aren’t you? And, if you have taken the time to actualy read all this drivel, you are probably feeling sorry for yourself. That’s ten minutes you’ll never get back. But it’s a blog, folks. And it’s me.
Oh, and no one ever needs to worry about offending me. The one thing I should have put in the list is that I have a thick skin. I may whine, I may pout, but I get over it. Now, will you return the favor? ‘Cause I tend to trip over my tongue a lot.