I’m an old lady.
Not in age, unless you listen to a 13-year-old, but in attitude. These kids today just irritate the crap out of me, and I think they need to just grow the hell up.
So what am I going off about today? iPods and latte. Yup. Even these simple things can send me into world-class rant. But you have to remember, I work on a college campus. iPods and lattes are getting to be my nemisis.
I’m walking to the post office the other day and had the misfortune of hitting that little golden ten-minutes when kids are rushing from one class to another. Out of a group of 20 or so kids I got stuck behind, at least 10 had slipped in their earbuds to walk down the hall. Nope, they could not go five minutes without having Fall Out Boy screaming on about an arms race. So that I could hear it. Thirty feet away. When they’re 30 and investing in Miracle Ear, I’ll sit back and laugh my sick, twisted butt off.
While their assaulting their hammers, stirrups and cochlia, they’re screaming at one another (since they have their music so freaking loud) about, “Dude! If I don’t get a f***ing mocha latte like now, I’m gonna f****ing die.”
No, dude, if you don’t get f****ing oxygen now, you will f****ing die, but last time I checked, Starbucks was not on the list of elements necessary to support life.
She says as she chuggs her caramel macchiato and listens to Fall Out Boy on her iPod.
Well, actually, the iPod is at home. Because I can live five minutes without plugging it in. See, it’s not that they’re doing this stuff, it’s that they are so blinking dependent on it. They’re spoiled brats! And the volume! When I take out my earbuds and my iPod is stil playing, I can’t hear it if they’re in my hands. But these kids have them in their ears and I can hear the music clearly down the hall!
Can you say nerve damage? I knew you could.
I’m officially part of Generation X. We’re the MTV generation who grew up on Twisted Sister (yes, Lani, I know who Dee Snider is) and Van Halen, who had microwave pizza and Diet Pepsi on tap. We were supposed to be the world’s most useless generation, especailly compared to the hard working Baby Boomers. So now that a good portion of us are supporting families and going out to lead companies and get advanced degrees, are we still useless? Or is it just natural that we get irritated with those stupid, lazy kids and their iPods and lattes.
Oh, the two that were going to f***ing die? Yeah. They skipped math and went to Starbucks instead. Guess they’ll live. Won’t know how to add up their change, though.