Geeking Out

Yeah, so I made the conscious decision to abandon the bah-g for awhile, but I thought I’d check in. Life is still scary, and all the reasons I decided to step back are still firmly in place. However, I do miss being that writer lady on occasion. Okay – more than occasionally. A lot. I want to get back into a book and dive in head first, but as my husband’s stem cell transplant is looming, I don’t dare. Happy Medium was killed by distractions and I don’t want that to happen again. Best to wait until I can concentrate again. Right? Yeah, I’m not fully buying it, either.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t have the odd writer moment from time to time.  There are two noteworthy occasions just recently: the arrival of my first print book, and the first time I saw it in a store.

The first was wrought with ceremony. I received the box in the mail, knew exactly what it was, and waited until the kids were settled and I was alone. It was a sacred moment. I sliced the tape, and prepared myself. “This will only happen once,” I said to myself, and opened the lid to find my beautiful books. And I felt… nothing. Don’t get me wrong, it was cool and I am sure not complaining, but I thought I’d get a charge from it. I should have gotten a charge from it. But even thinking it was kind of cool to see my book in my hands, I was a little numb.

Hmmm… could be because six months ago I told my doctor I wanted to be drugged like a ’60s housewife. You know, the ones who could get run over by a truck and not care? Yeah. That would work for me. So it stole my big book moment. I guess I’m good with that. Kinda.

The second was seeing my book on the shelf at my local bookstore. I was there for a completely different reason, and turned around to see one whole copy of Let’s Dish turned out and staring at me from the bottom shelf. This time I had a reaction.

“You have it!” I said. Squawked, actually. My mouth was working pretty much independently.

“We have what?” the lady behind the counter asked, looking semi-helpful, semi-confused, and very, very scared.

“My book!” I shoved my hand into hers, totally on autopilot, and shook it hard. “I’m Catherine Wade.” I don’t think I made much of an impression on her – well, not a positive one – but was impressed with myself how my pseudonym rolled off my tongue and I didn’t trip over it. I still struggle when I sign a book not to sign my legal name, and feel like a fraud when I introduce myself as what my friends call Writer Cate. She feels like a twin I have no real right to, but she was in full presence when I saw my book for sale in our little one-horse town. So maybe there’s hope for me yet.

Then again, maybe I’ve got issues that those ’60s drugs can’t even hope to touch.



Filed under It's A Writing Life

4 responses to “Geeking Out

  1. *Hugs*

    Congratulations, Cate! Cherish those little moments like in the bookstore, you deserve the good stuff that comes your way.

  2. LOL Thanks, Leah. Yes, I allow myself geek moments from time to time. And it looks like my first book talk will be at my home library, which is way beyond cool! I’m excited for that. And scared to death who’s going to show up!

  3. Crystal Wolfrum

    I went to my local B&N and they didn’t have it, so I whined to the girl at the info counter. She told me that I could order it online. I whined some more that I wanted to actually buy it in a book store and see it on a shelf. So she ordered some for the store!
    They should be there now so I will go back and have the pleasure of buying my old friend’s book in the bookstore. 🙂 Can’t wait to hold it in my hands and read it the old fashioned way.

  4. Cryssie, you’re wonderful! LOL Who needs promo with friends like you? 😉