You realize you’re getting to “a certain age” when…

1. Guys significantly younger than you are old enough to be hot. See Joaquin Phoenix.

2. The sixth grader who had a crush on you when you student taught his class is married.

3. And has two kids.

4. And a PhD.

5. Your workstudy student calls you "mature."

6. Your kids are pushing puberty.

7. One of your college buddies is going to be a grandma in January.

I could go on, but my stamina ain't what it once was. I think I need a nap. And maybe some prunes.

Boys will be Boys– Except when I’m in Charge!

There has been some controversy as of late about controlling children in public places.

As you may know, I have kids. Three boys, to be precise, and trust me when I say my boys are decidedly boys. They are wild and rambuctious, as boys should be. At home. Outside. NOT at a restaurant or store.

Mothers are boycotting suposedly "children unfriendly" establishments because they feel that if their little angels make a peep, they will be asked to leave. Au contraire, ladies. I doubt anyone feels that way at all. They say kids will be kids, that they have meltdowns from time to time. I agree. They do. But that's not what we're talking about here.

Everyday I see more and more examples of bad parenting. Let me correct this: NON parenting. You have to actually do something to be considered a bad parent. These people will gladly let their little urchins run wild in restaurants and stores. Perhaps they will occasionally shoot a "stop it, Johnny" at the kid, but they won't do anything about it. And the kid knows it. So why bother behaving when being a brat is so much more fun and Mom and Dad ain't gonna do diddly about it!

So my kids are perfect, right? Ha! I wish. And, by the way, neither am I. But when we are in a public place, particularly a restaurant, my children stay put. They are not even tempted to go running around. That is, until they see other kids doing it. Then temptating gets to be too great. This is when I give them fair warning, then get them out of the situation.

For example, we used to dine fairly frequently with a couple and their three kids. However, everytime these supposedly well-behaved children finished a meal (or even before they finished) they would be crawling on the chairs or rolling around on the floor wrestling one another. The parents never said a word. My children, of course, wanted in on the fun. I got the dirtiest stares from this woman when I would tell my kids to sit down. After a few times of this, we just stopped having dinner with these folks.

So I'm preaching. Yes, I totally am. People, businesses are having to remind you to take care of your children? How ridiculous is that?

Because George Bush Hates Scandinavians

We had a natural disaster. We had a massive, hellish ice storm and blizzard that hit the entire eastern part of this state. Let's take stock:

– Tens of thousands of people were without electricity, warm food and adequate water.

– Some of those tens of thousands had no water at all because the pumps ran on electricity.

– Shelters were opened and people had to be transported to them, sometimes on the backs of snowmobiles.

– Many people died. Many others were injured trying to clean up after the storm, or while trying to help others during the storm.

– A week later, tens of thousands of people still do not have power, hot meals or adequate water.

Now let's take stock of what didn't happen:

– Number of rapes and murders that occurred in shelters during the disaster: ZERO

– Number of stores that were looted: ZERO

– Number of $2,000 debt cards distributed to people affected by the storm: ZERO

– Number of people whining about how all this happened because George Bush hates Hutterites/Scandinavians/Generic White Guys: ZERO!! ZIP!! NADA!! Not a damned soul!

Now, obviously, one cannot really compare the blizzard to Hurricane Katrina. However, when our Governor heard of the storm, he responded. He made sure people were off the Interstate and closed it down. As opposed to having resources available before the storm and deciding not to do diddly about it. Our Governor punished people who were stupid enough to go out in the storm and get stuck by sending their moronic behinds to jail. As opposed to enabling them by saying, "You're right. It's not your fault. Um…no, not mine, either. It's THE GOVERNMENT! That's it! The Government!"

New Orleans will never be the same again. We will recover. Obviously, they had it a million times worse than we did. And very good people tried their best in terrible conditions. This post is not aimed at them.

No, this post for the yahoos like the Governor of Louisiana who could have done something before people were injured and stranded and didn't, then chose to blame someone else for their mistakes. This post is for the people who took those $2,000 debt cards and bought bid screen TVs, but still bitched about not having food and water. This is for the absolute Darwin-esque losers who shot at the helicopters that were trying to clean up Kathleen Blanco's mess.

Oh, and for our local refugees from New Orleans? Well done, folks. You withstood a northern winter storm in true style. And didn't whine about it for a second.